


Where art thou Love?

by scalesxofxjustice



Category: Outlast (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Outlast: Whistleblower, depressed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 13:27:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20243602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scalesxofxjustice/pseuds/scalesxofxjustice
Summary: Eddie Gluskin is trapped in a loop in his mind. Struggling so hard to find his one true love. Before he met Waylon that fateful moment, Eddie reflects on his troubles and his desires for love.





	Where art thou Love?

**Author's Note:**

> Feeling really depressed and I kinda played on the idea of how Eddie might have also felt, trying so hard to find his one true love and always ending up lost and betrayed in the end. That is until our lovely dashing 'bride' Waylon shows up of course. 
> 
> Enjoy, please don't forge to give me some feedback on what you guys think. Theres more Eddie works to come, including a Grease style sorta high school Waylon x Eddie fanfic.
> 
> #theycallmemr.gluskin

Dank dusty air filled the room as the Groom sat down, hunched over on the floor with his arms tightly across his knees hugging himself and fingertips digging into his biceps. His handsome features hidden behind his knees as he dipped his head down and softly sobbed.

  
  
  


Why was it that every bride failed him? Was he not good enough? Were they not good enough? When would the right one come by and love him and take away all this pain? Was there even a chance of that happening, of finding true love? 

  
  
  


The man's head filled with depressive thoughts, a loss of hope and sorrow. All he could do was embrace the coldness around here while he longed for the softest, warmest touch from someone loving and caring. Someone that was worthy of him, and him alone.

  
  
  


He’d done everything right, prepared everything right. Played soft sweet romantic music for his beautiful bride to hear, made sure he could perfect the ‘surgery’ properly, oh but he wished he didn’t have to do such things. He wished he didn’t have to carve up a wife, he just wanted that woman of his dreams to come soaring in, her petite soft feet never getting cut by shards of glass on the ground or covered in blood and guts that littered the Grooms Lair.

  
  
  


Why was it so hard to find such peace and happiness?

  
  
  


In a sorrowful manner he raised his head, dark bags lined under his blue and heavily glazed eyes. He’d spent many hours thinking over this, chasing down so many only to have his heart ripped from his chest so many times over and over again.

  
  
  


All he could do now was look to the boarded up window just meters away from him and see through the faint slit between two boards and see the outside world. A cold breeze blew in as he tried to draw in a deep breath of the fresh air, but by the time it reached him all he could smell was the rotting flesh which he kept trying to convince himself didn’t exist.

  
  
  


However through the thin wooden slit was the outside world, a world that made Eddie afraid. Afraid of judgement and afraid of what people could do to him. Use and abuse, that's all he has ever known in his whole entire life. Not once has he ever truly felt the touch of love and affection, never has he been held in the arms of someone that has cared for him, never has he known what it's like to even be appreciated. In the distance he could see the fog rolling in over the mountains and see the faintest of barb wire fencing that held the others captive. Meanwhile Eddie had embraced this place as his home, he tried his best to write sweet lullabies on the wall to make things so much better, but what this place really needed was a womans touch.

  
  
  


With a heavy hearted sigh the Groom finally stood, placing one hand firming against the wooden beam behind him as he stood on what felt like weak legs. His mind tried to convince him that he wasn’t weak, he was strong and handsome and loving. That he was the prince charming in everyones dreams, however the harsh truth was he was weak. Exhausted both physically and emotionally from what had taken place the moment he was dragged into that room, screaming for help. Yet those memories were so foggy to him now. All he wanted was love.

  
  
  


Sad eyes could only speak so much to the pain the Groom felt as he took one heavy step closer.

  
  
  


_**“ I**f only I had my bride_ **_” _** The Groom softly muttered aloud.

  
  
  


His eyes lingered on the window before him as he took another step closer.

  
  
  


_**“ I**f Only I had my bride_ **_”_** He repeated but this time a little louder and clearer. His eyes seemed to look at something before him, not the window, something closer. Something that didn’t exist. 

  
  
  


It seemed he was holding out for some kind of hope, but it also seemed like the Groom did not accept this hope 100%, as if he knew the reality that was crashing down on him. The weight of this place, the lunatics, the failed brides…

  
  
  


_**“ I**f Only I had a loving bride **”**_ The words repeated from his lips, almost like a broken record.

  
  
  


Once more he took another step, and then another, his right hand slowly came up reaching out to an invisible creation in his mind.

  
  
  


_**“ I**f only I had a loving bride...I would be so happy_.**_ “_ **His voice slightly cracked at the word happy. He was clearly emotional as his lips trembled trying his best to fight back the urge to cry and have another mental breakdown.

  
  
  


Soft blond curls dangling down like a cascading waterfall, soft pale skin, almost like china wear. Her eyes were a soft honey brown and her lips were a subtle pink, thin and petite, perfect for kissing and whispering sweet loving things. She was smiling she was….

  
  
  


As his fingertips danced across the thin cold air, all he felt was the bitterness and realizing that his bride was not there. She was not his and he was not hers and the Groom began to tremble with rage and fury, his hands turned to fist and his trembling lips began to show bared teeth as he clenched his jaw.

  
  
  


**_“_ _IF ONLY I HAD MY BRIDE!!_** **_“_** The Groom bellowed as he came crashing down to the ground.

  
  
  


Slamming his fists into the wooden floorboards with all his rage and fury before the hot stream of tears began to trail down his face. Anger filled his sorrowful soul. Why couldn’t anyone love him? Why couldn’t anyone care for him and support him? 

  
  
  


Why did he have to be alone?

  
  
  


Placing his forehead against the cold ground, the Groom hunched over, kneeling there on the dirty dusty floor no longer caring for his appearance as he trembled with rage and sadness. Two bad emotions that should never be mixed together. All he ever wanted was to find love, even before the murders took place.

  
  
  


He was so handsome back then, so happy, so proud. He’d come so far from his past, from...THEM! He learned to stitch, to make dresses, he learned to smile and be happy and to enjoy life. And then...then one day he fell madly in love and when she rejected him all Eddie could do was feel betrayed. Had he been mis-lead? Was he not handsome enough for her? Did all she think about was money and sex? WHORE!

  
  
  


All it took was one single knife and multiple stabs for the youth named Eddie Gluskin to find a means of satisfaction in his life. All that pent up anger, all that rage and emotional betrayal, the feeling of being used and abused...it all passed with those several stabs to her chest. And then he learned,in the darkness of his mind and soul, that this was his place. That maybe his purpose wasn’t to find love, it was to take away the sluts of this world, to weed them out until the right one found him. Yet he couldn’t help himself, with his madness and desire for love he wondered if he took one bride and cut her up and took the smallest bit of goodness from her whoreish self, he might be able to make himself the perfect woman. One that would love him, bare him beautiful children, and never ever leave him.

  
  
  


Clenched fists brought Eddie back to reality as he sighed and sat back on his knees unaware of how much time had passed. Gently a hand running through his slightly messed up hair as he corrected his appearance and took on that charming persona he so very well played. His body ached from the cold and beating from several days ago that his mind could no longer recall. However his mid protested against the pain, because Love was out there and he knew once he found her, she would take away all his pain. 

  
  
  


For the memories prior to the riot were nothing but foggy to him, flickering memories jumbled back and forth without realizing they were ruly his. Surely they had to be someone else's, the Groom often thought, but deep down he knew the truth. Denial is the first of the grieving process, Eddie had been stuck in denial for too long it seemed. Even before the experiments began to take place.

  
  
  


Yet this man only cared for one thing. Love. It's all he asked for, all he prayed for every single day. Why was God so merciless to him? Why did he have to be born in a cruel world with a cruel father? His questioning began to blind him once more with rage as the Groom stood with a loud huff.

  
  
  


**_“_** _**I**’ll Show them!_**_ “_** Grumbling aloud he took a few more steps towards the window.

  
  
  


Hands tightly grasped the frail old wooden boards before he gave a strong, angry, pull ripping the boards and rusty nails from the window.

  
  
  


Furious eyes flashed to the outside world where he could see those so weak and lower than him. Oh how he began to laugh like a mad man when he saw the idiots and lunatics down below.

Loveless, stupid, whores. All of them whores. With their swinish little eyes and harlot appearance. They were never worthy of him, but he would make use of them one way or another.

  
  
  


A large toothy grin grew across his lips. His mind so deluded and yet his heart still clung to the one thing he longed for ...Love.

  
  
  


Then a buzzing came, the Grooms eyes lifted upwards as he watched something dark and cloudy fly past. Was it a bunch of insects perhaps? It didn’t matter, it wasn’t his love and that's what the Groom was counting on.

  
  
  


From somewhere in the distance, he heard a sound as turned to see a figure in the darkness.

  
  
  


**_“_ **_**D**arling!?_ **_“_** Eddie called out before gaining chase, despite his weakened state his heart leaped in his chest while the stranger screamed. Unaware of another approaching, lone soul, Eddie ran after the other with glee, locking the doors behind him as he imagined himself ‘skipping’ after his love. And then...then there was darkness. Eddie stopped and frowned as he looked around, he was angry, angry his love seemed to run away and play a game with him. Why would she do this to him? Wasn’t she happy to see him-

  
  
  


Another sound came, snapping Eddies head around fast before he hurriedly approached a door.

Oh my, what soft sweet brownish blond hair he saw, what such fine features and petite frame he spotted. Had his prayers been answered?

  
  
  


_**“ D**arling?!_ **_“_** Eddie joyfully called out, startling the other as they backed up into the darkness and yet all the Groom could do was smile, his heart was almost in his throat now, so excited.

  
  
  


Waylon would never know the sorrow of the man named Eddie Gluskin, or how he tried to play his way out of the Asylum. Nor would Waylon ever know just how madly obsessed Eddie was with the idea of love. Not until the very End. Not until the very end...


End file.
